WWW.RADICALRAGS.COM WWW.MIRTHCANAL.COM
Gone With The Wind is the worst movie of all time, not just that it happens to be my ex-wife's favorite movie, that was one of the few character flaws she had, but when broken down in a series of reality checks the movie is a racists fairy tale, a red necks anthem, a hillbillies prayer.
1. The south lost, no one has told Alabama or Georgia yet, but they did.
2. Slaves did not have undying love for their masters, it's called Stockholm syndrome.
3. Hattie McDaniel did not deserve the Oscar for that role, she was so much more talented than that, Blues Singer and Shakespearean actor. The Academy gave her that award to allow studios to keep black actors in buffoonary roles. So George Clooney, I know you meant well by mentioning her award as philanthropic at the 2006 Oscars, but sometimes you are an idiot, proof?......Oceans 12. There was an underground of Black Cinema that the Academy could have grabbed any performance from that was not just for redneck amusement, but for true craft.
4. Scarlet was a flat out bitch... not one redeeming quality, I mean if there was a hint of antipathy, or one sign of empathy from her, we would have a movie, but what we see is a dated, tired ideal of a males view of what a powerful woman is, yes I know the writer was female, still did you have see her? It would be hard to tell, she had many masculine qualities, many, many, many.
5. Butterfly McQueen, that name right there is enough to make you cringe, the writers idea of a black slave, inbred, slightly retarded, loud and screechy. I am sure when I write this people will say,who Macy Gray? I understand it was the depression and people have to eat, but even Stallone and Marilyn Monroe were able to escape their porn pasts. This role was worse than Linda Lovelaces "Dog Lover". It would haunt her like the Mary Celeste haunts the high seas.
6.The film and book make no apologies for atrocities against humans, it rationalizes the need for slavery, it sounds like my friend who is my age and still gets high..."Nobody is going to tell me how to run my life!" Yeah, he is still at minimum wage and single, renting with roommates, no prospects on a girlfriend, and his mother writes him checks to bail his ass out on bills. Sounds like the state of Louisiana.
7. Atlanta burned to the ground by Sherman, and that was a bad thing?
8. The Northerners were evil, I will tell you what is evil, Dallas has a hockey team, so does Florida, and Carolina and Nashville, that's evil. Seriously, why does the south have Hockey? I mean come on, what the hell. There are many places left in the North for Hockey teams, and they would actually sell seat. Sorry about the Hockey rant I know it has nothing to do with this , it just drives me nuts that the southerners are equating hockey with pro wrestling.
9. The kid dies, one kid... come on they were Irish, there should have been 12 kids, losing one would have only meant a few of the others would have had to pick up extra chores. A frigid Irish woman is a myth, like Bigfoot and Chucacabra. It probably was that Ol' Rhett was a dandy, everyone knows that Vivien Leigh was a mentally ill raging nymphomaniac who died penniless in real life, that's Irish.
10. Finally.... Ashley as the chick magnet? Plus Belle gets no action? Come on, what kind of bullshit is this? The town whore can't find a man? I know that the south is glorified but a prostitute that spends all her time looking for love? . No I think that this is the worst movie ever because it glorifies the people who made their money off the blood of innocent humans whom these " heroes " crushed into submission and ruined, all for the throne of kings, Tara. If the writer had lived long enough I am sure she would have had written, Gone with the Ashes, the Auschwitz story about a brooding SS officer at the camp, and his loyal wife back home. With the lovley and spirited german nurse in the human vivisection room will do anything to win his love, meanwhile, Red, the Soviet war profiteer takes her away and through the burning and bombing of Berlin, assisted by the comic sidekick of a Jewish prisoner and the slightly retarded seamstress, who got that way from being struck on the head with a rifle butt from the concentration camp. At the end our nurse who performed experiments on jewish children at the camp has returned and we find her sitting among their ashes at Auschwitz, after the allies have come through. There with the sunset fadiing over the death camp she looks up at the sky screaming," As god is my witness, I will rebuld this place! Uh Oh, I think I have a Joe Esterhaus movie in the works.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Onward Through The Fog.
www.Radicalrags.com www.mirthcanal.com
The fog hung heavy over D.C., it was thick and with almost zero visibility. It left a shiny wet surface on all substrates, it looked as if pixies had come through the city spraying a coat of white mist over the slime. Although there was something magical about the lumbering cloud that refused to get off of the ground that morning , as if it had just given up and decided like manic depressant to lay there until something earth shattering were to make it move. Bush skipped along the sidewalk on his way to work, he was screaming ,"Rain drops keep falling on my head." He loved that song since he first heard it on ' Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid', he knew after seeing that movie he was going to become a cowboy. Bush wandered around the Oval Office, he was bored, no one talked to him anymore and he was on strict orders not to talk to the press anymore. That ruffled his feathers, he knew that the "Others", did not trust him, nor did any of his Secret Service. The Secret Service was always on his case about wandering off and talking to the commoners. Bush knew what he had to do, Run away! Not permanently, but for a vacation. Hell, he thought to himself, Iraq is going great, New Orleans is almost back to normal, and China was getting along better with U.S. interests now more than ever. "It's all good!" he said aloud to himself. Where am I gonna go where I can get away. Then he thought about his body double at the Press Corp. Dinner, I use him and I can leave and no one will know the difference. Bush patted himself on the back for being such a genius.
Bush called the impersonator personally and invited him up to the office. The man arrived about 45 minutes later, he was sheepish and asked Bush what he could do for him. Bush then told him he was on a super duper secret mission and that the man would be paid well to just sit in the office and pretend to be him. The man then asked how much it would pay and Bush told him a gazillion dollars at least. The man then told Bush he would take about 10 grand for the job, Bush then asked what a grand was. Bush told him he would pay whatever the man asked. They shook hands and then Bush went to the presidential safe, he looked at his hand and read the splotchy ink combination that he had written on his palm with a sharpie. Once the great monolithic safe was opened he went in and grabbed a stack of money that he had placed their after Christmas. Bush had found the money and it was one of the greatest moments in his life. He told no one about his find fearing that if one of his advisors heard of it they would make him put it back. Bush had found the money in a game box that had been left over years ago by one of his daughters friends. He had figured that it was supposed to be a secret campaign contribution, so he kept silent. The money was neatly stacked in sets of different denominations, neatly placed with paper bands around each denomination. He grabbed them all, about 200,000 dollars. what he would need the money for he couldn't tell, but he was going to spend it. He snuck out through the bomb shelter, then donned a fake beard and fedora. He made it out of the tunnel and past Pennsylvania avenue. He looked and saw a cab, Bush jumped up and down estatically until the cab pulled over. The driver asked him "where to?" Bush then told him he wanted to go to someplace exciting. The cab sped away down Pennsylvania avenue into the dense fog.
The body double was doing just fine, Cheney had asked him to cover him while he went home and watched torture videos while Lynn was out," A little me time." Cheney said. The Bush alike said "Go right ahead, I've got ya' covered."
Cheney smiled and took off without a goodbye.
The cab stopped outside of a Nightclub called the Candy Store, the cabbie then looked at Bush and told him,"Mister, if you can't find what you are looking for here, you ain't gonna find it nowhere." Bush smiled and pulled out his wad of cash and handed the cabbie a 50. The cabbie then got out of the car and walked back to open the door for Bush. Bush stepped out and like a bolt from the blue the cabbie struck him in the face with his fist. Bush dropped to the ground like a sack of garbage, he nose was bleeding, his eyes welled up with tears. George had never been hit like that before, the closest he had came was when Cheney constantly bitch slapped him for a stupid remark.
The cabbie then yelled,"How dare you try and pay me with god damned monopoly money!" " Gas is so expensive and I gotta pay the fare you bum!" The cabbie then kicked Bush in the head a few times, then when he was winded and could no longer handle Bush's feminine cries, and squeals; he stepped back into the cab. Bush had never had to handle money, he didn't even know what it really looked like, it wasn't his fault that the money in the game box was play money. He got up brushed himself off and went into the club. A very nice looking young lady dressed like a French maid was hostess at the club, She came over and inquired if Bush was a member, Bush quickly replied that he was. He walked in and the place had an odd smell to it , like locker room mixed with incense. Bush remembered that smell from his days in the Skulls. He walked in and the sign said, Welcome Swingers. Bush looked at it and was glad to see that golfers were the clientele of this business.
As he walked through the club, He saw an old friend of his Matt Drudge, was lying on a torture table with three Fabio look alikes dressed as priests, they were yelling at him and telling him that he was a bad boy. Drudge was happy to see George there. "You coming over to the dark side?" Matt asked 'W'. George then looked at the scene before him and said "I am in the wrong place Matty boy and I think you are too." Matt then said,"Well if you are looking for Rove, he is in the back dressed up like Shirley Temple and he is singing to a group of Illegal immigrants he bought for the day at the day labor corner." George couldn't help himself, he walked to the back down a hallway that was pitch black to see his best friend Karl. As he walked down the hall he could see nothing, then to his horror he felt hands grabbing him in the dark, the hands which were many started to grope and massage him. "W" was starting to feel a wave of nausea overcome him, his head was light and his knees weak, he tried to scream and run but was gripped by the icy hand of fear. It was one of those moments in life where he had to become his superhero alter ego, "The Decider!" He ripped off his beard, then took off his shoe and started beating away the hands, he could hear muffled winces of pain and feminie yells, that reminded him of something strangely familiar. He had to know, he flung himself forward using his hands to guide him, at that moment he found the light switch , his salvation. "Let there be light," he screamed as tears burned hotly down his face, his eyes were red hot and filled with terror and tears, they stung but what was to come would blind him. The lights came on and on the floor laying in the same state as they came into the world were people that he knew, Barbara Bush, Lynne Cheney, Harriet Miers, Scalia, Rummsfeld, and wearing a thong and pasties was Michael Chertoff sitting on Dick Cheney's lap whispering sexual sweet nothings. Chertoff giggled like a girl, Cheney was patting the horrible bright orange wig on his head, Cheney then said softly, "Mickey, you make me feel like my heart is going to explode!" Bush then at seeing the horror , collapsed. Barbara Bush jumped out of the pile of sweaty bodies and ran to him, she clutched him in her bossom and stroked his hair. Bush came to and looked up with his mother naked caressing him, he screamed in her face and broke loose her grip. A grip of a gorilla, it was vice like and almost impossible, but his will was strong. He ran and fell into the next room, upon entering much to his horror he saw Karl. Rove was standing on a chair with a little girls style of dress on, he wore a wig with Shirley temple curls, button down Buster Brown shoes and little frilly socks. Bush felt the wind being knocked out of him, as he watched in horror, Rove danced around singing the "Good Ship Lollipop" he was strutting around licking an oversized lollipop erotically in front of the migrant workers being held there at gunpoint by 2 secret service men. The room was hot and humid, Rove was sweating like a can of cold beer out in the sun, his mascara ran down his face and his lipstick was smeared. Underneath the hot lights Rove danced madly smiling in a sickly forced expression. Bush felt the heat affecting him, he needed to escape, he, to his luck saw an emergency escape. Without hesitation he bolted for the door. Pushing with all his might he made it through, and fell to the cool ground below, he had never felt such relief, the rain danced on him as he lay on the cool ground and took in the moment. He arose and walked to the road. He was swaggering, this time it was unintentional, usually he forces a swagger, but this time it was due to his body trying to adjust to the rain and poor visibility after the steamy oven he had broken away from. He walked towards the Bus stop. There he stood waiting to catch a bus. He had never before ridden one, but considering the cicumstances, he needed to get home.
He sat down on the bus bench and wondered to himself. He thought deeply about his situation and thought that the world out there was sick, it was right to destroy it, nobody mattered, nobody cared for him, his own mother put the moves on him and it had gone too far, what disgusted him the most was that he was revolted by Barbara's actions, yet turned on at the same time. The bus came to a slow stop and the door made a tired screach as it opened, then Bush once again pulled out his wad of Monopoly Money as he entered the transport. Seconds it opened again and Bush fell into a puddle after being thrown off the vehicle by the driver for trying to rip him off for a free ride. Bush started to cry, just then a car pulled up and the window rolled down, "C'mon baby, get in the car." Barbara Bush cooed softly. "Jr. Ya know Momma loves ya' !" Bush got into the Lincoln Continental and started to cry, he thought to himself that this was not a good day, no not a good day indeed.
EPILOGUE: The White House will now try and eliminate press briefings so the puplic will not be informed of their hedonistic goings on.
The fog hung heavy over D.C., it was thick and with almost zero visibility. It left a shiny wet surface on all substrates, it looked as if pixies had come through the city spraying a coat of white mist over the slime. Although there was something magical about the lumbering cloud that refused to get off of the ground that morning , as if it had just given up and decided like manic depressant to lay there until something earth shattering were to make it move. Bush skipped along the sidewalk on his way to work, he was screaming ,"Rain drops keep falling on my head." He loved that song since he first heard it on ' Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid', he knew after seeing that movie he was going to become a cowboy. Bush wandered around the Oval Office, he was bored, no one talked to him anymore and he was on strict orders not to talk to the press anymore. That ruffled his feathers, he knew that the "Others", did not trust him, nor did any of his Secret Service. The Secret Service was always on his case about wandering off and talking to the commoners. Bush knew what he had to do, Run away! Not permanently, but for a vacation. Hell, he thought to himself, Iraq is going great, New Orleans is almost back to normal, and China was getting along better with U.S. interests now more than ever. "It's all good!" he said aloud to himself. Where am I gonna go where I can get away. Then he thought about his body double at the Press Corp. Dinner, I use him and I can leave and no one will know the difference. Bush patted himself on the back for being such a genius.
Bush called the impersonator personally and invited him up to the office. The man arrived about 45 minutes later, he was sheepish and asked Bush what he could do for him. Bush then told him he was on a super duper secret mission and that the man would be paid well to just sit in the office and pretend to be him. The man then asked how much it would pay and Bush told him a gazillion dollars at least. The man then told Bush he would take about 10 grand for the job, Bush then asked what a grand was. Bush told him he would pay whatever the man asked. They shook hands and then Bush went to the presidential safe, he looked at his hand and read the splotchy ink combination that he had written on his palm with a sharpie. Once the great monolithic safe was opened he went in and grabbed a stack of money that he had placed their after Christmas. Bush had found the money and it was one of the greatest moments in his life. He told no one about his find fearing that if one of his advisors heard of it they would make him put it back. Bush had found the money in a game box that had been left over years ago by one of his daughters friends. He had figured that it was supposed to be a secret campaign contribution, so he kept silent. The money was neatly stacked in sets of different denominations, neatly placed with paper bands around each denomination. He grabbed them all, about 200,000 dollars. what he would need the money for he couldn't tell, but he was going to spend it. He snuck out through the bomb shelter, then donned a fake beard and fedora. He made it out of the tunnel and past Pennsylvania avenue. He looked and saw a cab, Bush jumped up and down estatically until the cab pulled over. The driver asked him "where to?" Bush then told him he wanted to go to someplace exciting. The cab sped away down Pennsylvania avenue into the dense fog.
The body double was doing just fine, Cheney had asked him to cover him while he went home and watched torture videos while Lynn was out," A little me time." Cheney said. The Bush alike said "Go right ahead, I've got ya' covered."
Cheney smiled and took off without a goodbye.
The cab stopped outside of a Nightclub called the Candy Store, the cabbie then looked at Bush and told him,"Mister, if you can't find what you are looking for here, you ain't gonna find it nowhere." Bush smiled and pulled out his wad of cash and handed the cabbie a 50. The cabbie then got out of the car and walked back to open the door for Bush. Bush stepped out and like a bolt from the blue the cabbie struck him in the face with his fist. Bush dropped to the ground like a sack of garbage, he nose was bleeding, his eyes welled up with tears. George had never been hit like that before, the closest he had came was when Cheney constantly bitch slapped him for a stupid remark.
The cabbie then yelled,"How dare you try and pay me with god damned monopoly money!" " Gas is so expensive and I gotta pay the fare you bum!" The cabbie then kicked Bush in the head a few times, then when he was winded and could no longer handle Bush's feminine cries, and squeals; he stepped back into the cab. Bush had never had to handle money, he didn't even know what it really looked like, it wasn't his fault that the money in the game box was play money. He got up brushed himself off and went into the club. A very nice looking young lady dressed like a French maid was hostess at the club, She came over and inquired if Bush was a member, Bush quickly replied that he was. He walked in and the place had an odd smell to it , like locker room mixed with incense. Bush remembered that smell from his days in the Skulls. He walked in and the sign said, Welcome Swingers. Bush looked at it and was glad to see that golfers were the clientele of this business.
As he walked through the club, He saw an old friend of his Matt Drudge, was lying on a torture table with three Fabio look alikes dressed as priests, they were yelling at him and telling him that he was a bad boy. Drudge was happy to see George there. "You coming over to the dark side?" Matt asked 'W'. George then looked at the scene before him and said "I am in the wrong place Matty boy and I think you are too." Matt then said,"Well if you are looking for Rove, he is in the back dressed up like Shirley Temple and he is singing to a group of Illegal immigrants he bought for the day at the day labor corner." George couldn't help himself, he walked to the back down a hallway that was pitch black to see his best friend Karl. As he walked down the hall he could see nothing, then to his horror he felt hands grabbing him in the dark, the hands which were many started to grope and massage him. "W" was starting to feel a wave of nausea overcome him, his head was light and his knees weak, he tried to scream and run but was gripped by the icy hand of fear. It was one of those moments in life where he had to become his superhero alter ego, "The Decider!" He ripped off his beard, then took off his shoe and started beating away the hands, he could hear muffled winces of pain and feminie yells, that reminded him of something strangely familiar. He had to know, he flung himself forward using his hands to guide him, at that moment he found the light switch , his salvation. "Let there be light," he screamed as tears burned hotly down his face, his eyes were red hot and filled with terror and tears, they stung but what was to come would blind him. The lights came on and on the floor laying in the same state as they came into the world were people that he knew, Barbara Bush, Lynne Cheney, Harriet Miers, Scalia, Rummsfeld, and wearing a thong and pasties was Michael Chertoff sitting on Dick Cheney's lap whispering sexual sweet nothings. Chertoff giggled like a girl, Cheney was patting the horrible bright orange wig on his head, Cheney then said softly, "Mickey, you make me feel like my heart is going to explode!" Bush then at seeing the horror , collapsed. Barbara Bush jumped out of the pile of sweaty bodies and ran to him, she clutched him in her bossom and stroked his hair. Bush came to and looked up with his mother naked caressing him, he screamed in her face and broke loose her grip. A grip of a gorilla, it was vice like and almost impossible, but his will was strong. He ran and fell into the next room, upon entering much to his horror he saw Karl. Rove was standing on a chair with a little girls style of dress on, he wore a wig with Shirley temple curls, button down Buster Brown shoes and little frilly socks. Bush felt the wind being knocked out of him, as he watched in horror, Rove danced around singing the "Good Ship Lollipop" he was strutting around licking an oversized lollipop erotically in front of the migrant workers being held there at gunpoint by 2 secret service men. The room was hot and humid, Rove was sweating like a can of cold beer out in the sun, his mascara ran down his face and his lipstick was smeared. Underneath the hot lights Rove danced madly smiling in a sickly forced expression. Bush felt the heat affecting him, he needed to escape, he, to his luck saw an emergency escape. Without hesitation he bolted for the door. Pushing with all his might he made it through, and fell to the cool ground below, he had never felt such relief, the rain danced on him as he lay on the cool ground and took in the moment. He arose and walked to the road. He was swaggering, this time it was unintentional, usually he forces a swagger, but this time it was due to his body trying to adjust to the rain and poor visibility after the steamy oven he had broken away from. He walked towards the Bus stop. There he stood waiting to catch a bus. He had never before ridden one, but considering the cicumstances, he needed to get home.
He sat down on the bus bench and wondered to himself. He thought deeply about his situation and thought that the world out there was sick, it was right to destroy it, nobody mattered, nobody cared for him, his own mother put the moves on him and it had gone too far, what disgusted him the most was that he was revolted by Barbara's actions, yet turned on at the same time. The bus came to a slow stop and the door made a tired screach as it opened, then Bush once again pulled out his wad of Monopoly Money as he entered the transport. Seconds it opened again and Bush fell into a puddle after being thrown off the vehicle by the driver for trying to rip him off for a free ride. Bush started to cry, just then a car pulled up and the window rolled down, "C'mon baby, get in the car." Barbara Bush cooed softly. "Jr. Ya know Momma loves ya' !" Bush got into the Lincoln Continental and started to cry, he thought to himself that this was not a good day, no not a good day indeed.
EPILOGUE: The White House will now try and eliminate press briefings so the puplic will not be informed of their hedonistic goings on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)