Heroes and villains

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Bush sat in his private study, the dim light cast shadows about the room, some seemed to dance and move with the turn of his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he was so bored. He tried finding pictures in the wood grain of his desk, but his A.D.D. wouldn't let him focus long enough. He wanted to call Laura up to talk to her but was tired of the constant lectures about right decisions and human life and all of her" religiosity." He just wanted to ramble about surface issues, nothing deep, he hated indepth, reflective conversation. Condi was great at just talking about material things, but she was off to her health spa gettin'' "healthified". So, he broke down and called Rove, Rummy, and Chertoff. Rove walked in, his eyes pooled up," Gee George, I am so glad you called we don't ever get to spend time together anymore like we used to." Bush told him that Rummy was on his way with Chertoff. Rove's happy girlish pluck disintegrated into sour snappiness. "What do you need these guys here for?, I am all the man.. I mean Help you need." Bush looked at him clueless to Rove's secret inner desire, the flame that burned hot like lit coal inside him. Rove had to use all his discipline to hide his love that the world would shame. Rummy came in with a gaunt Chertoff, Mike looked like he had been freebasing again, rings under his eyes, hair thinning and windblown. George asked bluntly, "Mike, are you on the snow machine again? You know, are you turning into a blow monkey again?" "No," Chertoff said with great offense to the remark," I am not on the powder if that is what you mean." Mike knew that he wasn't lying, he told them he wasn't doing the powdered form, and Bush didn't ask him if he was on crack, just blow; so he was being truthful.

"The reason I called you here today is that I have a great problem that needs to be solved, who do you guys think is the greatest superhero of all time?" Bush asked with direction towards all three men . Rummy looked at "W" with disbelief, "Are you serious George?" Bush replied,"Serious as a heart attack on a fat angry man." Just then a voice from the closet said,"I heard that! You're talking about me." The voice was Cheney's and he came out of the broom closet redfaced and sweaty. "I knew you'd backstab me you little piece of monkey spunk!"
"Now hold on there Dick, we were not speaking of you, we were about to discuss our favorite heroes." Chertoff said with a shaky demeanor that was either withdrawal, or fear. "Oh, sorry, I thought for sure you guys were talking about the 7 billion dollars of missing money from defense spending to Haliburton." Rummy then looked shocked,"There is money missing from the defense budget, and it is unaccounted for?" Cheney then looked over at Rummy, cleared his throat and said with a rapid fire delivery," There was money that got lost on paper, but it is the paper that got misplaced, when we find it we will be able to file that paper away." Rummy looked confused for a second then shook his head and said,"Hey, that is why we have a general accounting office." Everyone gave a big"Here, Here.", in agreement.

" Well back to my question, " Bush probed the group. Dick told Bush he ought to tell everyone whom his favorite hero was, Bush quickly replied that it was Captain Marvel, when Billy Batson would yell Shazam, and turn into Shazam man, or Captain Marvel it was so cool. Chertoff harumhped, "Capt. Marvel is so gay, those yellow spandex and red lightning bolt, gay gay gay. " Bush was pissed,"First off, it was a red suit, then it was yellow lightning bolt." Chertoff then said," 'W' I stand corrected, about his suit, but he is still a flamer." Bush then retorted angrily, "You would know, Mike you have Gaydar, you even said Dick was into guys." Dick looked over at Mike, Mike trembled at the ferocity of Dicks facial expression, Chertoff then thought he should have never told Bush that, now his life hangs in the balance and he had to repair this quickly. "Now dammit George, I said Rove loves Dick, not the other way around." Bush then mulled it over,"O.K., maybe but only if you say Shazam isn't gay." Chertoff agreed and could actually go the rest of his life without looking over his shoulder. Bush then asked Mike his favorite hero, Mike gave a lot of thought, then replied Reed Richards, Mr. Incredible off of the Fantastic 4. Everyone laughed," That's because he is skinny, like you." Bush snapped back. Chertoff venomously fired back and said,"Well at least he doesn't have a boy protege like Shazam! That is soooo gay!" Bush laughed, Reed Richards, he thought, Chertoff didn't know what kind of geek he was. It was Rummy's turn, without hesitation he said firmly," Nick Fury, and his Howling Commandos." Bush told Rummy that is why he is running the military. Finally it was Cheney's turn, now Dick was not to quick, he hemmed and hawed, finally he spit it out," Bat-Girl." "Bat-Girl?" Everybody responded in unison, why Bat-Girl. "Well, "Dick said with face flushed,"My wife wouldn't allow any men's magazines in the house, so I would go and buy Bat-girl comics pretending they were for my daughter, you all know the one of which I speak but dare not speak her name." The men nodded with agreement. Cheney went on to describe how he would rub one off in the bathroom to the sexy drawings of Bat-Girl. Many was the day where she was Dick's fantasy lover. "Wow, a side to you I have never seen." Rummy said.
"Hey any of you remember the actress that played Barbara Gordon aka Bat-girl on the t.v. series?" Bush questioned. "Yeah wasn't she kidnapped by some deranged stalker and kept in some weird lair for months chained up while her assailant never showed his face and hid in the shadows." Chertoff said. "Yeah that guy was some kind of sicko, she never acted again after she was released from his lair."Rummy said. Cheney then added,"Yeah, I heard profilers say that guy wasn't as sick as the media made him out to be, just misunderstood." Rummy looked irritated as if Cheney was jacking with him,"Where did you hear such a stupid report?" Cheney was angry, his face was beet red and he tried to explain that we must not judge too harshly before getting all the facts. Cheney then gave up, it was almost as impossible as trying to get Barbara Gordon to Love him. Cheney left the room in disgust and went to his car, he sat thinking back about Bat-girl, maybe I should have kidnapped Julie Newmar instead. He then slapped in Bonnie Raitt's c.d., cued it to track 4, softly Bonnie Raitt's voice started to sing "I can't make you love me if you don't." Cheney then pulled out a copy of the X-men comics out from under the seat, Jean Grey really did it for him. As he stared at the picture he was feeling electric, alive, and lusting. Bush walked out later that early evening and saw Dicks car with the windows all steamed up, then he saw Dick's hand press against the window. Bush thought Dick was waving to him so he waved back with a smile, "See ya' tomorrow Dicky boy." Cheney could not hear "W's" goodbye, he was busy tripping the light fantastic with Jean Grey.