RNC Party feels Kerry's Vengeance

The rain fell hard on Saint Patty's Day. This is my day thought Kerry, a day of retribution. Kerry got on his knees and prayed to all the super saints of the Catholic doctrine,"Please let me have my revenge, if you won't help me Lieberman said he will hook me up with Madonna and her trend magic!" After his prayer Kerry got on the phone,"Hey Lieberman, did you get the stuff from Gore?" A soft whine came from the other end of the phone,"Yeessss, he gave it to me are you sure you want to go through with this?" "I'll pick you up in 15, stay put and don't back out on me you spineless weenie." "O.k." whined Lieberman, then he thought how did he always get himself involved with Kerry's and Gore's crazy schemes. Meanwhile back at the White House, George Bush was mad as a wet hornet. "These bastards want to censor me, I never talk dirty, it's that goddamned Clinton who started all this censoring fad with his talk of oral sex, he deserved to be censored, not me!" Rove just shook his head with the look of a young man who experiences an epiphany that the beautiful girl he is in love with is mentally challenged. "W, they want to censure you, not censor you, big difference." "Whoooo Hoo, man I feel better, what does censure mean?" Bush asked. Kerry raced over to Lieb's apt. When Lieberman came out he had a brown bottle of liquid, a can of Easy-Off oven cleaner and a rag. Kerry's face drew tight, "What the hell is the can of Easy-Off for?" Joe just decided to show him he sprayed the material into a rag, placed it over his face and started huffing,"Dear sweet Jesus, what a rush, this eases the pain of my existence, it is like getting retarded and falling back into my mothers womb." "Whatever, just keep that window open, I don't feel like burning my brain cells and crawling back into my mothers womb." "Now Albert told me that the RNC is having their annual fund raising slash orgy at Rush Limbaugh's house this year," Kerry said,"and all those f#$king Swift Boat veterans for hate will be there." Kerry told Joe. The car a discreet 1982 Delta 88 rolled through the streets of Washington. Kerry looked over at Lieberman, he was foaming at the mouth and his eyes were bulging twice their normal size, they were rolled up towards the heavens, Kerry thought this loser won't be any use to me. As the boat of a car turned the corner the door opened, Lieberman was pushed out and rolled like a limp rag doll up against the curb. Meanwhile back at Limbaugh's place the party was in full swing, Rush had been doing mass amounts of Oxy, and to keep awake he had been doing some Meth that Ann Coulter had brought. His blood pressure was through the roof, he was beet red and and his eyes looked like red street maps of Houston. He was screaming for Darin Kagin,"Darin!, Darin!, bitch bring me a Milwaukees Best beer!" Rush standing , clad only in his dingy white fruit of the looms, with the elastic breaking into little rubber bands around his rotund apron of a belly and a pair of black socks with holes in the toes explained that Milwaukees Best was the best beer in Milwaukee because the brewers said so. Ann Coulter was trying to open a Mike's Hard lemonade when her fingers broke, they snapped like balsa wood into a grotesque display that resembled a Calder sculpture. Just then McCain stepped in and offered his assistance,"You know I had to reset my own bones in Nam, I can fix those for you." Ann's pain turned to arousal,"Only if you make passionate love to me the way Daddy used to." McCain, surprised at Ann's advances told her that he might if she didn't look so much like the guys he was imprisoned with that died of starvation. Meanwhile, Dennis Haster was over at the buffet table gorging out in a non-stop feeding frenzy that would embarrass a shark, "You know," Haster told Frist,"They have banned me from all the chain cafeterias that have an all you can eat menu, Old Country Buffet, Luby's, and even the Chinese Buffets." Frist retorted with a laugh,"Well at least you have accomplished something this term." Frist then walked over to Darin Kagin and started putting his mad skills to work,"Darin, are you a chubby chaser? I mean god, of all people why Rush, he's a junkie, a lardass and not very bright." Darin then smiled,"He is also richer than god." Frist mumbled "whore ",under his breath and walked away. Kerry was outside the Limbaugh residence, he drove up in the brown 88 and quietly slipped out grabbing the secret bottle that Gore had gotten for him. He crept up quietly to a side window, the heavy rain provided perfect cover for him, he opened the window and slid inside the room with stealth and speed. Loud raucous laughter could be heard outside the door of the guest bedroom he had entered. He quietly surmised his surroundings and cracked the door, he peered out and saw all the Swift Boat Veterans for Treason standing in the hallway. They had Katherine Harris surrounded and were talking about the old days of Nam when they were gods and could smoke opium and rape teenagers, and shoot indiscriminate civilians for target practice. Harris was getting excited by the stories and told the men she would slip into something more comfortable and be back in a minute. Now was Kerry's chance, he took out his blow gun and dipped the darts into the brown liquid, then with steady unison he shot all the swifty's with the sodium pentathol dipped darts. Once he determined the drug had taken effect, he opened the door and walked over to the men. "So," Kerry said angrily,"Remember me?" The swifties then told him no. Puzzled, Kerry thought the drug he had administered would have control over his subjects. "Who are you guys?" Kerry asked. "We are the Swift Boat Veterans for truth, but actually I am just a bum Rove dug out of the gutter." " Rove found all of us that way, he told us he would keep us supplied with all the booze and drugs we wanted if we rehearsed all the material he gave us." The Swiftless ones explained. "Hell he even set us up with a trailer in a real trailer park to live in, what a guy!" Kerry now, had met his enemy and was disappointed, they were not the soldiers he thought they were, he could not propel his war upon a bunch of hapless drunks, what challenge would there be. Kerry now thought about Gores lecture to him, let it go, get over it. Gore was always a loser what did he know, Kerry then turned back towards the once homeless men and told them that Rove wanted all the people at this party to be beaten within an inch of their life and to scream out for respect to Rove while they did it. Kerry walked out of the house and could hear the screams and commotions and terror behind him. He laughed heartily and then saw Lieberman. "Hey Loserman what up?" Joe then in a whining tone that sounded like Kermit the frog with bipolar disorder said"I just talked to Gore, that wasn't Sodium Pentathol he gave you, it's not truth serum, it's P.C.P. He couldn't get anything else, so he figured you would be O.K. with that. Kerry astonished, then with reflection said ,"Jesus Christ, if we would have gotten pulled over, I would face life in prison for that, I guess the Super Saints were on my side. " Epilogue: "What do you mean that if the Democrats take control of the House again I will be Impeached, hell I don't even like peaches, they're fuzzy and give me the willies when I try to bite into them?' Bush said with an angry tone," Hey enough of this political mumbo jumbo, my most favorite show is on, Nick At Nite has a" Full House "marathon starting in about 10 minutes and I am so there. No interruptions not even if the sky is falling."