Lord of the Fruit Flies

Bush was on Air Force One with all the white house gang aboard when the sudden urge hit him to go up to the cock-pit and mess with the pilots. I don't believe I have given them nick-names yet he thought quizzically. I know, I will call them by a part of their face that is out of wack. He swaggered up to the nose and went inside the cock-pit, the Captain was wearing glasses and offered him a kind hello. Bush looked at him and said," How's it goin' specs?" The captain then told Bush he would rather be called Roy, that was his name. "Nope, Roy is too hard for me to memorize, I'll just call you specs." The captain then looked at the co-pilot and told him that he was going to venture back for some coffee. The co-pilot, a young man about 28 pleaded not to be left alone with this situation. Roy reassured the nervous pilot that the plane was on auto and nothing could go wrong, "Just relax and don't let him touch anything, I'll be back in two minutes. As soon as the captain left the sight of Bush, he turned around quickly and jumped into his seat. "I used to be a fly boy," he told the co-pilot whom was now starting to sweat profusely. "Don't touch that!" screamed the co-pilot. "Oh my god! You have gone and killed us!" Bush inadvertently shut off the engines with the kill switch set up in case the engines were aflame. "Now we have lost our lift and we won't have time to regain control of the plane!" wailed the co-pilot in unceasing horror. Bush just laughed and thought I'll just go back and get into the escape pod and eject out. Bush ran to the back and looked frantically for a part of the plane that only existed in the Star Wars movies he had seen , and in "Escape from New York". Just then when the macabre truth sunk in, he lost control of his bowels and started shrieking," I read Left Behind, I am going to heaven right?"
12 Hours later, Bush awakened on the beach, next to him was Karl Rove, gently stroking Bush's mussed up hair. "Thank Jesus your alive!" Rove said with a girlish glee. Bush suffering from a blow to the head did not recognize his lifelong partner. "What's your name ?"Bush asked the zoftic looking Rove. Rove then told Bush that he could be called anything except what the staff used to call him. " What was that?" Bush asked in a puzzled sort of way that reminded one of a child trying to figure out how the light works in the fridge. "Snitchy Mc Rat-fuck, that is what the staff called me."Rove said with a posture of shame. "Oh," Bush said incredulously," Well we won't have that!" Bush had found a conch shell and blew on it, just then an army of staffers, co-workers, and fellow cabinent members sauntered out of the woods of the island. Bush started taking a mental inventory and was trying to figure out where they were stranded. Just then Cheney came out of the woods and started asking the staffers who they wanted as their leader. The staffers all had the resolute feeling that a search team would find them in a matter of hours, they stayed with their paychecks and denied Dick his power grab. "Fine!", growled Cheney, "but I am the Hunter, and I get to kill!" That was fine with everyone even Rove. Then Rove tried to speak, but was interrupted by Cheney yelling at him, "Sit down and shut up Maggot!" Bush then jumped in and told everyone that Rove was not called Maggot, but his name was Snitchy Mc Rat-fuck. Rove began to weep gently," He betrayed me". Cheney then ordered the hunting party he assembled to strip down and rub their feces on their bodies for war markings. At first, the only one who engaged in this sordid activity was Cheney, but later everyone joined in, even Mary Matalin. However, Bush and Rove did not disrobe, and were sure that a rescue was imminent. Cheney had told the others of a stray dog that he had seen running on the beach, Cheney lit out after the dog with all his nakedness and his fecal covered markings with his spear. He screamed wildly and found the mangy cur whimpering beneath a pile of drift wood. Cheney came back with the head of the dog as a hat, and the rest of the animal had been curiously gnawed on, yet still had plenty of meat for a few. When upon seeing the remains of the dog, Matalin leapt on Cheney and tore the carcass away from him with her teeth, she then on all fours shook the body of the poor creature so violently that the creature flew loose into the crowd of staffers and interns where a feeding frenzy took place. Cheney came over and slapped Mary,"Ya' got greedy Mare, now our meat is being eaten by interns! Interns are the scum off the side of my toilet!" Mary cowered away from her master and whimpered. Just as things looked like they couldn't get any worse, Dick stood atop the mountain and decreed," If you are not with us you are against us! " The staffers whooped and screamed primal shouts that made Bush so angry he actually composed a sentence of thought, "Who died and made you leader?" He screamed at Cheney. Cheney then looked down and said, "You did!" next he commanded the staffers to kill Snitchy and Bush. The staffers climbed atop the hill and rolled a rock down on Rove. The sound was a horrifying mix of broken glass, bubble wrap and girlish screams that almost sounded like a young female plucking her nose hairs and eyebrows. Bush knew now that his power had been usurped, it was time to run. The staffers followed him like a pack of hyenas that had been denied their leftovers of rotted carcass. Bush crying and weeping all matter of strange things fell as the mob was upon him. The mob grew silent, Bush looked up, just then he saw a tall Hispanic man in a white uniform. "Are you the coast guard?" Bush screamed with relief. "No," the tall distinguished man said." I am the cabana man at the Hilton Hotel about a quarter mile past the hill, by the way have any of you seen my dog?, he usually runs the surf until lunch and comes back, and I can't find him and Carolina has really cracked down on leash laws, especially in the state parks."