Mardi Gras with the White House

George Bush sat in the Oval Office playing Halo on his X-Box. "I am bored!" he told Laura, who was passively reading her bible, the part about the Levite man who throws his wife out to the mob to be raped to death because the man felt it was her place to go and appease the mob. "I wonder if she enjoyed any of it and if that is a sin?" thought Laura. "W" had disrupted her deep thought," Oh just go to Mardi Gras already, " she told George. George was as giddy as a school girl on the eve of her debutante party. George got on the phone to Cheney and Rummy and McClellan, and said it's on boys, let's party! Cheney said that they all should go incognito, that way a drunken angry mob won't burn them in effigy, for real. All thought it was a good idea. Later on Air Force One Cheney showed up dressed like Satan, McClellan was dressed as a clown, Rummy was dressed up like Fidel Castro and "W" came dressed up like Betty Page. He had adorned the stiletto heels, fishnet stockings and garters and all. Cheney, looking strangely aroused said, " Georgie, you know you could have just bought a mask, maybe a Clinton mask would have been funny." Bush snapped, "I didn't tell you what the hell to go as!" Rummy, Cheney. And McClellan all looked at each other and laughed, Rummy said," Don't worry George, you look pretty, you will be the belle of the ball. "Thanks, that means a lot to me, I put a good amount of time in to this costume."Bush said shyly with a slight amount of coyness mixed in. Well the plane landed and the boys jumped out and got into a limo. They went to Bourbon street in the French Quarter, when they got out they were shocked at the filth and garbage everywhere. Cheney said angrily,"Some one should clean up this mess, I mean how are "those" people ever gonna attract business if they don't get this shit cleaned up?" Well a parade of transvestites marched by and grabbed Bush away before anyone noticed. Scott looked over at Dick and asked where the hell "w" was and that Laura was going to rip off his testicles if he didn't bring him back sober and in one piece. Cheney laughed, "Good luck with all that!" he told Scott. Indistinct cries could be heard from the crowd of transvestites, "I am not gay knock it off!" Cheney then looked around for someone to spread some misery on, he saw his victim, a young female about 24 with blonde hair and a Slippery Rock college jersey on. Perfect.. thought Cheney, an innocent, now it's Cheney time!. He walked over to the inebriated young girl and asked her he she wanted to make a deal with the devil. The young lady was half in the bag but still had some cognizance about her." Piss off pervert!", she yelled at Cheney. "Tony, this fat assed old man is trying to get down my pants!" Just then a young man built like a steamroller grabbed the V.P. and screamed in a drunken threatening manner, " I' ll dance with the devil, bitch!" Just then with a speed of Thor, Cheney opened his mouth so quickly and lunged on to the young mans nose, he proceeded to snarl and tear the boys nose off with his teeth. Blood spurted out like a Super Soaker, then Cheney spit the nose to the ground, and muttered, Italian, I hate Italian. The boy went running down the street screaming in a yells bloodcurdling that it sounded like baby rabbits that were being torn apart by a den of hungry stray cats. Cheney with blood running down his chin, laughed, and he laughed hard. He then grabbed the girl and planted a big bloody kiss on her. Then running his blood soaked tongue across her face he threw her to the ground." If you don't want the Big Dick, that is your loss bitch!" he exclaimed and then puffed out his chest. McClellan was quickly writing down alibis for this incident if it should ever come to light, when he was struck by a bottle thrown from a second story patio by a fat girl in a wife beater shirt that had a Trace Atkins logo on it. "Give me my f#$king beads", the drunk portly young nymph said to Scott. "I showed you my breasts, now give me my f#$king beads!"McClellan then turned blood running down his forehead, and told her he was sorry, but he only had money. The big girl then yelled," If ya' got a twenty I'll rock your world!" Scott thought for a second with deep introspective wandering, when was the the last time my world was rocked? "You got a deal", he yelled back. He raced up the fire escape to the girls patio and the two proceeded inside. Cheney disappeared into a crowd of citizens and Rummy was passed out from the 5 Long Island Iced Teas he had slammed. Ironically, a group of young republicans had surrounded the Castro costumed Rumsfeld. They started venting their frustrations from coming all the way from Nebraska , dropping a ton of money and not getting laid. They drew a bead on Rummy dressed as Castro and were sure to get some of their hostilities out on him. they All took turns kicking Donald in the nether region. Still as the beating ensued , Rummy never awoke from the drunken stupor. Well daylight was peeking it's head over the horizon and calling an end to the madness of night, the four Washington partiers made their way back to the limo at 6 in the morning. Quietly they sat with an uncomfortable silence that was oppressive. Finally Rummy said," Man those Long Island Iced Teas sure make your balls hurt!" Then Scotty said , " You can't catch an s.t.d. if you pay for sex, can you , I mean it would be bad business right?" Cheney, who was soaked in blood, much more than when he had his encounter with the young couple from Slippery Rock, said," Ya know, I am really misunderstood, if people just give me what I want they wouldn't have any problem from me. It is their fault for rejecting me , they have it coming!" Last but not least was "W" sitting in a fetal position curled in the corner of the limo silently weeping to himself. Cheney, looked curiously at him and said, "Wow, it looks like George had the best time out of all of us!" The limo erupted with laughter and everyone felt better about the nights adventure, except George, whose mascara was running all over his face with his tears.