"W" comes to Michigan for fun and freaks

Yes, it is true Georgie boy came to Michigan to check out industrial parks that are working on alternative energy sources, the smell of the pure grain alcohol sent W over the edge, he called the White House to let staff and wife know that he had to take in extra meetings. His next step was to get Cheney and the boys together and party. They all descended on the 8 mile strip in Detroit and man did things get strange from there. Crashing a rave that one of the wire taps provided information on. Cheney stripped down to his fluorescent speedo and a pair of fuzzy slippers, and to top of the ensemble ; the always fashionable glow in the dark pacifier and school beanie. Dick dropped a couple hits of X and started dancing a mad groove with his mad skills to some old school Digital Underground "Humpty Dance", then went into a steady flowing vibrating movement to some Orbital. Things got weird for him when he started crying to some Fatboy Slim house mixes, Cheney wept and screamed out guttural cries of "I've got no place to go!" and "Heavens Just a Sin Away!" Meanwhile George was trying to hook up with some Goth chicks who were tweaking off a bad batch of meth, George was explaining how his wife doesn't understand him and that just because you are in good with Jesus doesn't mean you have to stop having sex. Well things got ugly and Cheney, Bush and Rumsfeld were at a table arguing over who was going to be the figure of Death out of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse. It seems that W had a vision and Jesus told him that he, Cheney and Rumsfeld and Rove were the 4 horsemen sent here to ring in the end times. Bush wanted to be death because it was so cool, the scythe and the black robe and all the cool mystery that surrounded it. Well this pissed off Cheney, he whipped his pacifier to ground and bitch slapped George. Dick thought since he was the bmoc he should get first pick. Well , when all was settled it looked like Bush ended up with the sanguine figure of infection, pestilence, and Cheney will get to be Death. The party went on into the wee hours of the night when it was decided that since they were in Michigan, they would look for some Amish chicks on Rumspringa. Dick told everyone at the table about the rituals of Rumspringa , that the Amish let their kids go out in the world of the English at 16 years of age to sow their oats and that when they turn 20, they are so burnt from all the sex and partying that they gladly go back to the Amish community. So our heroes drove out to Potterville and Vermontville Michigan to look for Amish chicks who were hot and ready to party. By this time Cheney had drank about a gallon of Red Bull from the dehydration of the designer drug that he had used, now he was getting a bit irritable. George hung his head out the window and pretended to get sick so he wouldn't have to face Dicks crazy tirades about liberals , and Homos, and that goddamned , f&%king know it all Jon Stewart. Well when they arrived they couldn't find a barn party where the Amish kids were, then Cheney went off again, bitching about how the Amish didn't have phones that they couldn't eavesdrop to get party leads. George knew he had to find a way to get Cheney some kind of release or else he was bound to explode all over him and start beating him with that horrible rubber appendage that he keeps in his suitcase. Luck was in Bush's favor as he found the Chinese massage parlor on I-69. They made their stop there . Then Cheney got mad at the Viet- Namese girl who tried to get the V.P. to help her out of her enslavement to the pimp. She explained to him how Chinese soldiers had kidnapped her from Viet Nam and then sold her to this pimp in America , now she will have to work for him for 23 more years in order to pay off the debt of her enslavement. Cheney just laughed and said " If I had cared for your situation I wouldn't have gotten 6 deferments from the war." "Any way," he explained" the Chinese are my best customers, their lack of child labor laws allow myself and my friends to get rich." He then advised her that at the age of 18 she was lucky to have a job that was so easy. Cheney then went to the pimp and told him he had better keep an eye on that girl cause' she was up to no good. The pimp thanked Cheney and gave him a free 30 minute massage coupon good at any Chinese government owned parlor. Well that ended the journey in Michigan for the White House boys. Join me tomorrow when we follow our leaders on a trip to Orlando in their next exciting adventure on " Deeper in Debt. " This has been another Rob Riley Lie brought to you by the complete boredom of my job.